PRESENTATION KILLERS: Five of the Most Often-Encountered Obstacles and How to Avoid Them 

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Every presenter wants to connect with their audience—to inform, inspire, or persuade. But even skilled communicators sometimes fall into habits that quietly sabotage their message. Over years of coaching and observing professionals, I’ve noticed that the biggest presentation killers are rarely about lack of knowledge or preparation—they’re about focus. Specifically, focusing too much on yourself and not enough on your audience.

Here are five of the most common traps that derail presentations—and how to avoid them.

1. Mistaking “feels good” for “looks good” 

What feels comfortable to you doesn’t always look good to the audience. Putting your hands in your pockets might calm your nerves, but it often sends the message that you’re disengaged. Likewise, pacing around the stage might help burn energy, but it distracts your listeners. Every movement, gesture, and stance should serve the message—not your nerves.

2. Misguided dedication to perfection instead of “usefulness”

Many presenters obsess over flawless delivery. But perfectionism often backfires—it shifts your focus inward instead of toward the audience. A stumble or slip of the tongue doesn’t ruin your presentation; awkward over-apologizing or panic does. Handle mistakes with calm confidence and a genuine commitment to keeping your audience informed and comfortable.

3. Over-planning the script and visuals while under-planning the desired effect. 

Slides, data, and polished scripts are helpful tools—but they’re not the presentation. The real impact happens in how you deliver those ideas. Spend as much time thinking about your tone, pacing, and audience connection as you do perfecting your visuals. The best slides in the world can’t make up for flat delivery.

4. Confusing a sense of humor with joke-telling. 

Trying to win people over with jokes is risky territory. Humor is powerful, but it doesn’t have to come from punchlines. Instead, use wit: point out relatable truths, make surprising comparisons, or highlight absurdities in your topic. The goal isn’t to make them laugh—it’s to grab their attention and hold their interest..

5. Apologizing: Don’t do it.

Apologies in presentations are almost always self-serving: “Please forgive me, but…” It signals that your focus is on you, not them. Instead of apologizing, stay matter-of-fact. If you misspeak, correct it quickly and move on: “That should be billion, not million.” Plan ahead so you don’t have to say, “I know you can’t see this in the back…” And if something goes wrong, keep things moving forward. Your composure builds credibility faster than any apology ever could.

In the end, the best presenters think less like performers and more like explainers.
Focus your energy on helping your audience understand your message; if you can do that,  confidence, clarity, and connection fall into place naturally.

If you want to elevate your own presentations, start by removing these five obstacles. The result isn’t just a smoother talk—it’s a stronger impact.

Helping professionals become confident, engaging presenters is what we do. If you’ve got a talk coming up or want to sharpen your presentation skills, reach out—we’d love to connect. And if this article resonated, share it with someone who could use it too.

Anxiety and Eagerness: Extemporaneous Speaking Strategy

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In our previous article we provided a strategy to deal with emotions that come up when you’re called upon to speak in front of a group unexpectedly. We discussed the role that mindset plays going into an unexpected presentation, how it can help to focus on the needs of the audience rather than focusing on your own needs. But let’s say you’ve successfully shifted your mindset, you’re eager to address the question that you’ve been surprised with – then what?

Anxiety’s most important component is fear of the unknown. To leave anxiety behind, it’s important to have a plan before you even begin speaking. You’ll find great value in adopting a format that you can have at the ready, in any situation.

We have a simple formula that you can apply to your next extemporaneous presentation: start with an attention grabber, expand on the question using three main ideas, and summarize your message.  

Part of what we experience as anxiety has to do with simply getting started. Once you’ve begun, what happens then? This conundrum translates to a feeling of being out of control. The sense of lacking control pushes us toward anxiety and away from a sense of eagerness.

A “grabber” can be defined as a device that introduces the problem interestingly, and it gets said first. It can be a question, a challenge, a factoid or a metaphor. Example: you’re asked in a meeting to comment on a difficult problem in IT security. If you work in this field, you’ll easily come up with some things to say in answer to this question. Maybe the grabber starts you off this way: “Cybersecurity isn’t really about technology — it’s about people. Hackers don’t break in anymore. They log in, using stolen credentials from social engineering.”

Next, expand on three main ideas. Having the pieces in mind helps to put your thoughts into a clear set of ideas. Come up with three topics to develop, for example the problem’s history, the solutions that have already been attempted, and a new solution you’re confident in. Each of these sub-topics is probably relatively obvious for you to expand on as the IT professional, but now you’ve given yourself a well-organized, step by step list to talk through. You’ve kept it within a reasonable time allotment because you’ve made the choice to give yourself a doable goal (three things) for the time you’ve been asked to fill.

Conclude your brief talk with a short summary. This is the easiest element of the formula; it’s just a restatement of what you’ve already said.  It can just be a sentence or two summarizing what you’ve offered to this point. Take the opportunity in your conclusion to reinforce any main ideas or points of persuasion.

This approach also lends itself well to practice. Just for fun (maybe not as much fun as a trip to the beach, but enjoyable nonetheless) give yourself a topic to develop this way, and video-record yourself. Craft a message on the fly and present it as though to an audience. Practicing in this way removes even more of the “unknown” which will help with nervousness – you’ll know exactly how you sound and look.

Using an interesting grabber and using the “rule of threes” to assemble a message on the fly is one way to tip the scales towards eagerness rather than anxiety. This formula works even better in conjunction with the mental technique from our previous article. To come across confidently, expect the best possible outcome and don’t fall into the trap of expecting the worst possible outcome.

Nicholas Dalley ICI 2025, All Rights Reserved.

How is Eagerness related to Anxiety?

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How is Eagerness related to Anxiety?

In a conversation with a client this week I had a moment of clarity. It was one of those moments that I look forward to in a coaching relationship. Usually, moments such as this one take a difficult concept and boil it down to something simple yet actionable.

Even though I have worked for the better part of a year with this client, and have seen strong improvement, he had a very basic, you might say incisive and thoroughly honest question for me. “But how do I drop anxiety when I’m in a group and I’m called on unexpectedly to speak to a topic? You know, when I have to be the expert, but I’m not prepared to speak?”

This question is precisely on point for so many presenters, especially when it comes to the word “anxiety.” “Anxiety” is comparable to “dread”; to feel either of these emotions is a pretty awful experience. “Excitement” and “eagerness” on the other hand, are positive emotions that excellent presenters all seem to have in common. Eagerness seems to refer to excitement in the anticipation of something pleasurable. So in this discussion, let’s make our focus “anxiety” and “eagerness.”

In conversation we tend to use the words “anxious” and “eager” interchangeably: “I’m anxious to talk with you next week,” and “I’m eager to talk with you next week.” These two sentences seem to say approximately the same thing. But focusing on the differences, there really is an important distinction.  Think of it as two sides of the same coin. The two sentences both suggest expectation and anticipation. They share many of the same physiological responses too: sweaty palms, dilated pupils, increased production of adrenaline, and an urge to speak more quickly. Both anxiety and eagerness seem to alter one’s perception of the passage of time. Time seems to slow down. A child might say, “I didn’t think Christmas would ever come.” Someone else might say, “The two weeks until my court appearance really seemed to drag.” Anxiety and eagerness, two sides of the same coin.

Wouldn’t it be great if you could turn all the anxiety associated with making a speech (or being called on in a group unexpectedly) into eagerness: eagerness to make your contribution to the group’s success… eagerness to build your brand as the thought leader?

We propose two solutions – one is a shift in mindset, and another is a practical strategy on how to quickly structure an impromptu speech or answer to the question.

Shifting your mindset in this way can be compared to looking at a blue-green color. You can convince yourself that the color is blue, or you can convince yourself that the color is green. When you start to feel the surge of emotion that comes with unexpected speaking (or any public speaking), lean into eagerness.

Both eagerness and anxiety carry a lot of energy. Anxiety tends to come from a negative expectation, focusing on the consequences of a poor performance: “What if I sound stupid?” or “Everyone will find out that I don’t know what I’m talking about”. Experience your increased energy as excitement, rather than treating it like anxiety.

Instead of thinking about how you might look, sound, or feel based on the results of your speech, think about how the group will benefit from what you have to say.

What Causes “Presentation Nerves” and How to Tame Them

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“According to most studies, people’s number one fear is public speaking. Number two is death. Death is number two. Does that sound right? This means to the average person, if you go to a funeral, you’re better off in the casket than doing the eulogy.”

― Jerry Seinfeld

Presentation nerves have two main causes:

  1. A logical concern: People are judging me! (Because they definitely are.)
  2. A visceral reaction: Why does this feel so weird? 

Let’s break these down and find ways to conquer them.

The LOGICAL Fear: Yes, They’re Judging You… But That’s a Good Thing!

It’s true—your audience is watching and forming opinions. But instead of assuming they’re picking apart your every syllable, shift your focus: they want to get something valuable from you. Your job isn’t to be perfect; it’s to give them what they need. Rather than thinking about why it’s important to you (and dreaming up consequences for failure, or possible rewards of success) think about why it’s important that your audience understands you. Prioritize helping your audience understand your message – they are there to hear what you have to say!

Another mental shift that is just as important – have a positive outlook on the presentation. It’s easy for the presenter to focus on the potential of being judged negatively. Concentrate on the certainty of being judged positively. I learned this mindset from the WWII generation. Whenever I asked them, “What was the plan if we lost?” the answer was always the same: Losing wasn’t an option. That mentality helped them push forward, and it can help you too. Commit to success, and don’t even entertain the idea of failure.

The VISCERAL challenge: Presenting FEELS different from what you’re used to. The difference is uncomfortable and can feel “wrong.”

The problem is, presenting is very different from everyday conversation. We’re used to talking one-on-one. But when you present, your voice needs to be bigger, your gestures need to be clearer (larger), and your presence needs to take up more space. That unfamiliarity feels unnatural—so your instinct is to shrink to what feels more “normal.” Unfortunately, the audience sees this as low confidence. 

It’s clear that you need preparation—but the right kind. One of my mentors, Zig Ziglar, used to say, “When you’ve set up your ladder to success and are striving to climb it, make sure it wasn’t leaned against the wrong building.” In other words, don’t just practice, practice with purpose.

The DEATH SPIRAL (or, More Accurately, the “Failure Spiral”)

Okay, the title is dramatic, but stay with me. Aviators use the term “death spiral” to describe the phenomenon of trying to fix a problem with control of the aircraft. The problem is, without knowing precisely what effect the “fix” will have, the fix makes the problem a little worse. The response to the fix-gone-wrong sets up even MORE problems and before long, the flight ends in a fatal spiral. 

Ever start a presentation, mess up a word, and suddenly your brain is a little upside down. It seems to say, “What now? I guess we’re doomed”. That’s the failure spiral. One mistake leads to overthinking, which leads to more mistakes, which leads to a full-blown mental meltdown. The good news? It’s totally avoidable. You just have to keep your hands on the controls, and know what to expect. 

The SOLUTION: Tame the Nerves; The Key is Control. 

Don’t play to your need to be liked, loved and accepted. Play to the audience’s need to benefit from what you’re offering them. 

  1. Accept the unexpected (even “awkward”) feeling — It won’t look awkward to the audience. Using your smartphone, record yourself from a few feet away, and you’ll see. What feels outsized and really too big,  looks just right to the audience.
  2. Breathe like a pro — Stop at every period. Short sentences = easy breathing. No more gasping for air mid-sentence.
  3. More self-recording — Practice the whole package – Don’t just memorize words. Rehearse your voice, gestures, and phrasing too. Recording your practice allows you to be objective about your performance, rather than depending on how it “feels.” How you feel you’re coming across to the audience can be misleading.
  4. Adopt a “service mindset” — Make it about the audience, not yourself. Practice enough so your physical skills can run in your mental background. The less you focus on yourself, the better you’ll perform your service for the folks who need you and your message.

The more you practice, the more natural this will feel. You’ll find yourself looking forward to your next presentation (No doubt about it… success is fun!) So go out there, look someone in the eye, and hold the audience in the palm of your hand. You’ve got this!

If You’re Offering Your Audience Anything less Than “An Experience” They’re Being Short-changed

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Maybe you’re a video journalist, a professional communicator. Maybe you are a someone who uses presentations before live audiences as a means to an end. The suggestions that follow are for you.

This odd convention of having one person talk and many people listen…what’s it for? Information sharing? Influencing opinion? Making a presentation, a telecast or a video post is a fast way to get everyone within earshot to hear my point of view, to hear my information, my “facts.” But what if my information is shoddy, what if my “facts” are colored by opinion? What if my point of view is skewed toward something other than “the common good?” In that case, it’s a fast way of getting bad information to lots of people. We know that there’s a chance of getting incomplete or incorrect information when we watch television news, or hear a presenter hold forth. But we seem never to get enough of it. Why haven’t we given up?

TV News: We don’t just want it, we need it.

Recently there’s been a revival of a failed experiment from the ‘80s. It has to do with “good news” or what was termed a few decades ago, “happy talk.” Briefly, it’s inconsequential non-news showing “feel-good” occurrences such as someone being unexpectedly kind or decent to someone else. Of course there’s a place for human-interest, but it has to sound (and be) important.

We can only assume research projects are returning results that indicate people say they want feel-good stories. Since pumping these types of stories into the newscast doesn’t produce a dependable increase in viewers, it leaves some of us wondering if, after all, people like how it makes then feel to say they want more feel-good stories (whether they’re important or not), but after all they don’t watch more because of the inclusion of these stories.

See if this holds water: People are engaged by a news story for two reasons: The first reason is to mentally stay out of trouble, (“The robbery happened in what neighborhood? I’d better be super-aware when I go into that neighborhood or avoid it altogether.” “Someone got hit by a car crossing the street? I’d better talk to my kids again about staying off of their cell phones when walking or driving.)” The second reason people watch is to understand their place in the universe, comparing everything in the news to their own experience. If the story is funny: “They thought this was funny enough to air. Do I think so too?” On the other side of the happy/sad equation, seeing the story about the mother who kills her five children is engaging. It prompts the viewer to ask, “What makes me different from her? Under what circumstances (if any) would I find myself in her place?”

So TV news fulfills a purpose beyond entertainment or “company.” It gets involved in our understanding of ourselves and the place we occupy in the world. While we might hate the idea of anyone’s being a victim of crime, if it has happened, we can’t help looking and asking ourselves, “What if it had been me?”

The Experience

Playing with this need that, as human beings, we all share, the storyteller who invests meaning in the story will fulfill the viewer’s need more completely every time. Facts, as discrete hunks of truism, are useless.  It’s not until they are given a context by the way they are represented in writing and through the way they are visually presented by a person that they have meaning for people as an experience. So, anchor, they’re not buying your looks, they’re not buying your personality, they are buying “an experience.” Your looks, your personality, the beauty of the set are only getting you a chance to keep the viewer with you until you can make the story meaningful. If after having given you the chance, they are disappointed with the experience they are offered, it’s no wonder the viewer will respond with frustration and with the urge to find another storyteller.

My dad was born in 1918, the year WW1 ended. For him, as a kid, a terrific, memorable experience involved a rope swing over an irrigation canal in Aberdeen Idaho. Nowadays, for a kid, the same feeling, the same memorable quality, can only be had by a trip to Disney. We’re all hungry for “experience,” and satisfying that hunger for “an experience” (not just facts) in others is getting more difficult, not easier.

 

By Nick Dalley, Intentional Communication, Inc. ndalley6@gmail.com. All rights reserved.

How to be Your Own Best Coach

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How To Be Your Own Best Coach

I consider myself a good presentation coach. I take it seriously and I’ve been at it for 25 years.  But your best coach?  Potentially it’s you.  There’s no one more interested in your own success than you.  No one spends more time with you than you.  No one knows you better than you. It’s true in being a presenter, and on a larger scale it’s true in life.  You have the means to be your own best coach.

Most people waste their own self-resource by coaching themselves unfairly.  In fact, the more perfectionist someone is, the more likely they are to be a poor self-coach.

“Future Orientation” Versus “Past Orientation.” 

When assessing your own performance, there are two orientations you can choose: A “past orientation” which sounds like this: “Damn! In the presentation I just gave, I did that thing I hate.  I looked terrible doing it! Why can’t I fix that? I know better…I hated it.” Or a “future orientation” which sounds more like this: “That presentation I just gave didn’t do all I hoped it would.  Next time I’ll be sure to do more of ‘x’ or less of ‘y.’”

It’s a matter of living up the expectations you would have of any coach from whom you’re looking for advice.

Be fair.

Be constructive, not destructive.

Give yourself goals that are achievable and observable by you.

Make a plan for improvement

Work on achieving one small goal at a time.

Look for opportunities to boost your objectivity.  If it’s possible to make a tape of your presentation so you can refine your plan, do so.

Why be kind to (or at least fair with) yourself? The reason is that you have enough stresses in your life supplied by others.  And don’t forget, good “self-coaching” is much more effective in allowing you to reach your objectives than poor, authoritarian, ugly, unfair, destructive self-criticism.

Nicholas Dalley, ICI, 2017 All Rights Reserved

Best Self versus Real Self

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When you’re standing in front of an audience or in front of a camera for broadcast, focusing on being your “best- self” is a bad idea. Learn why.

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