How is Eagerness related to Anxiety?

How is Eagerness related to Anxiety?

In a conversation with a client this week I had a moment of clarity. It was one of those moments that I look forward to in a coaching relationship. Usually, moments such as this one take a difficult concept and boil it down to something simple yet actionable.

Even though I have worked for the better part of a year with this client, and have seen strong improvement, he had a very basic, you might say incisive and thoroughly honest question for me. “But how do I drop anxiety when I’m in a group and I’m called on unexpectedly to speak to a topic? You know, when I have to be the expert, but I’m not prepared to speak?”

This question is precisely on point for so many presenters, especially when it comes to the word “anxiety.” “Anxiety” is comparable to “dread”; to feel either of these emotions is a pretty awful experience. “Excitement” and “eagerness” on the other hand, are positive emotions that excellent presenters all seem to have in common. Eagerness seems to refer to excitement in the anticipation of something pleasurable. So in this discussion, let’s make our focus “anxiety” and “eagerness.”

In conversation we tend to use the words “anxious” and “eager” interchangeably: “I’m anxious to talk with you next week,” and “I’m eager to talk with you next week.” These two sentences seem to say approximately the same thing. But focusing on the differences, there really is an important distinction.  Think of it as two sides of the same coin. The two sentences both suggest expectation and anticipation. They share many of the same physiological responses too: sweaty palms, dilated pupils, increased production of adrenaline, and an urge to speak more quickly. Both anxiety and eagerness seem to alter one’s perception of the passage of time. Time seems to slow down. A child might say, “I didn’t think Christmas would ever come.” Someone else might say, “The two weeks until my court appearance really seemed to drag.” Anxiety and eagerness, two sides of the same coin.

Wouldn’t it be great if you could turn all the anxiety associated with making a speech (or being called on in a group unexpectedly) into eagerness: eagerness to make your contribution to the group’s success… eagerness to build your brand as the thought leader?

We propose two solutions – one is a shift in mindset, and another is a practical strategy on how to quickly structure an impromptu speech or answer to the question.

Shifting your mindset in this way can be compared to looking at a blue-green color. You can convince yourself that the color is blue, or you can convince yourself that the color is green. When you start to feel the surge of emotion that comes with unexpected speaking (or any public speaking), lean into eagerness.

Both eagerness and anxiety carry a lot of energy. Anxiety tends to come from a negative expectation, focusing on the consequences of a poor performance: “What if I sound stupid?” or “Everyone will find out that I don’t know what I’m talking about”. Experience your increased energy as excitement, rather than treating it like anxiety.

Instead of thinking about how you might look, sound, or feel based on the results of your speech, think about how the group will benefit from what you have to say.