How to be Your Own Best Coach

How To Be Your Own Best Coach

I consider myself a good presentation coach. I take it seriously and I’ve been at it for 25 years.  But your best coach?  Potentially it’s you.  There’s no one more interested in your own success than you.  No one spends more time with you than you.  No one knows you better than you. It’s true in being a presenter, and on a larger scale it’s true in life.  You have the means to be your own best coach.

Most people waste their own self-resource by coaching themselves unfairly.  In fact, the more perfectionist someone is, the more likely they are to be a poor self-coach.

“Future Orientation” Versus “Past Orientation.” 

When assessing your own performance, there are two orientations you can choose: A “past orientation” which sounds like this: “Damn! In the presentation I just gave, I did that thing I hate.  I looked terrible doing it! Why can’t I fix that? I know better…I hated it.” Or a “future orientation” which sounds more like this: “That presentation I just gave didn’t do all I hoped it would.  Next time I’ll be sure to do more of ‘x’ or less of ‘y.’”

It’s a matter of living up the expectations you would have of any coach from whom you’re looking for advice.

Be fair.

Be constructive, not destructive.

Give yourself goals that are achievable and observable by you.

Make a plan for improvement

Work on achieving one small goal at a time.

Look for opportunities to boost your objectivity.  If it’s possible to make a tape of your presentation so you can refine your plan, do so.

Why be kind to (or at least fair with) yourself? The reason is that you have enough stresses in your life supplied by others.  And don’t forget, good “self-coaching” is much more effective in allowing you to reach your objectives than poor, authoritarian, ugly, unfair, destructive self-criticism.

Nicholas Dalley, ICI, 2017 All Rights Reserved

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